Pseudo Farm

objects re-oriented

The farm is a class of place where the focus is mostly nature ( this translates to a lot of manure, the allure of which makes it a feature ). Contains animals and sheds ( most being unsaid, consider them background furniture ).

An animal, as a class of beings, has a set of features, like feelings, hunger, energy, and mood. Makes sounds, mostly crude, and other effects less appealing.

On dawn send ‘sunUp’ to everyone, set a countdown timer to ‘dusk’ ( treat ‘dawn’ as ‘firstLight,’ ‘dusk’ as ‘twilight,’ ‘everyone’ as animals greater than none ). Increment hours by one and cue the rooster, the day has begun.

The rooster is a kind of animal. On ‘sunUp’ follow script to be audible. Go to the barn roof, ‘cock-a-doodle’ the troops, increase your status as spectacle. On ‘dusk’ hop down to the barnyard ground ( under cover of dark, none can see that you are un-flying and yet un-flappable ).

The pig is a kind of animal, that says ‘oink-oink’ twice minimal. On hearing ‘cock-a-doodle’, waddle to the trough. If the trough is full, eat until this piggy’s had enough; else enter the shed, drink unleaded instead, this piggy becomes inflammable ( terrible mistake on piggy’s part, now served as bacon a la carte ).

The cow is a kind of animal, compared to the pig more rational. On ‘sunUp’ say ‘moo’ ( not entirely true, more like ‘mrurrp’ like a burp gone casual ).

The trough is a kind of tool, that’s long and empty too, until filled on ‘sunUp’ by the farmhand ( signed up to become a farmer — or rather, an ‘agriculture entrepreneur’ ).

About Me

Roger Kenyon was North America’s first lay canon lawyer and associate director at the Archdiocese of Seattle. He was involved in tech (author of Macintosh Introductory Programming, Mainstay) before teaching (author of ThinkLink: a learner-active program, Riverwood). Roger lives near Toronto and offers free critical thinking and character development courses online.

“When not writing, I’m riding—eBike, motorbike, and a mow cart that catches air down the hills. One day I’ll have Goldies again.”